FineDayJane

Stories from my life and other writing…

#24 ill

Posted by Jane Lancaster on April 15, 2011

i thought god i’m so attached to this body and this life, i’m terrified of losing it, i don’t want to lose it and i’m scared it all seems so dark.  have you ever been so ill you thought you might die?  that was me yesterday.  i had developed a cold or maybe it was allergies.  i coughed sneezed and blew my nose all day on Wednesday.  Then i got up yesterday and it hit me just after breakfast this incredible headache and nausea.  i had no alternative but to get back in bed, an hour of fear because my head and stomach hurt so much. the rest of the day was spent just lying there weak as a kitten.  couldn’t read a line, look at a computer, nothing.  my throat and mouth dry and no amount of water sipped would change that.  the thought of coffee made me sick. i had one piece of toast which i ate so slowly as i lay there trying to get up the strength to pick it up to bite it.  and i slept for hours.  and all the while the wind blew outside in the most disturbing manner.   i’ve just got up and although weak thank god the worse is over.  i never used to get ill like this but since my sister died i get ill all the time.

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